"I fell apart.
Because you were a part of me.
Meeting you was like the very start of me.
I had no idea who I was or could be.
Until you showed me the person you already see.
The potential I had to be someone's soul sister.
But in the end,
I guess I was just your soul’s blister.
You crushed me.
Because I cut you.
With a thousand knives,
In a thousand wounds.
I didn't know how to love you.
I had only seen love give pain.
So I squeezed every lemon into every open vein.
Fought with disdain.
Never let shit go.
Attacked each of our flaws until it ate our love whole.
You were an asshole.
For how you treated yourself,
You attacked the man I never wanted to let go.
You lost him.
And all I wanted was to have him back.
And so all I could think of was to attack this stranger you left in his tracks.
I'll never know if you forgot him because of you,
Or because of the way I pained you.
But truth is,
Even though I hurt you,
I also changed you.
Saw your potential for better.
Pushed you out of your sweatpants and into designer sweaters.
Tried my damndest to help you make friends,
Wrote you love lyrics and held you til the very end.
Booked you plane tickets that needed no refund.
Swore you were worth every tear that I reasoned.
And now that it's over.
I recognize you even less.
You've given up on yourself and my friends say it was for the best.
I know we were young.
And you were my first love.
But I beat myself up for using you to learn right from wrong.
Whether you blame me or not,
Which I know that you don't,
Sometimes I still wonder what could've been,
If I'd known healthier ways to cope."
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